Healing All Wounds
by codedriver
Summary: The secret disclosed in 47 seconds slowly divides the couple till the events in Headhunters, where discoveries are made that might just bring an end to the relationship in ways that they are not prepared for. Canon till Headhunters and then goes AU
1. Chapter 1

Healing all wounds

This is set after Head Hunters and AU after that and anything after Undead won't happen. Also there are jumps with dates, these will be noted.

Also I don't have a beta reader but would love one if someone is interested. All mistakes are mine, some of the stuff in this story is from personal experience.

I have several more parts written and will try to update every few days.

Crime scene, early morning

May 28th 2012

Beckett slowly approached the crime scene hoping her phone would beep with the acknowledgement of her text to Castle. Though it was early she knew he usually jumped at the chance to be at the scene of the crime. It had been three weeks since she had seen him appear around the team or the station, in fact with the exception of his text last week saying sorry he was busy writing and maybe next time, no one else had seen or talked to him either.

The last time she had really spent time with him had been when he was following Slaughter and she was helping the DA. The court case had been settled quickly and within a week and half she was back at the station. The next case was another of the wonderful weird ones that her team seemed to attract and was solved with some hard work by everyone and acting of the original suspect that had become one of the victims. It was a case made for Castle and she actually missed the wild theories he would have been spitting out. Heck he would have loved the gang of zombie walkers that Espo and she confronted.

She went back in her mind to the text that said he was busy writing. That one threw her for a loop because he was usually always looking for a reason to not write. Oh well whatever was up with Castle she was sure he would come around eventually, he always did. Of course that line of thought really didn't make the hole in her heart feel better. She needed him and this coldness was killing her.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Lanie.

"Hey girl, no shadow again this week?" Lanie queried as she wrote notes on her clip board.

Ignoring her friend's question, "what have you got for me today?" She asked glancing at Ryan as he came up beside them.

"Thirty year old male, two wounds in the chest, looks like small caliber, a few defense wounds on his hands so he put up a fight before he lost." Laine went over after giving Kate a glare that said later. "Sometime around 3am is estimated time of death right now. I will know more once I get him back to my table."

Kevin started reading off his notes, "No one saw anything so it looks like a mugging gone bad. No phone found and his pockets were picked clean. So far no missing person report yet so no further ID but will run his prints once we get back to the station."

Esposito added on as he joined the group, "The uniforms are going to ask around some more but so far nothing from anyone."

"Double check for any cameras and let's see if we can get name with our body." Kate ordered as she looked around the scene once more.

"Kay," Ryan knew who she was really looking for, "No Castle again?"

"Missing your mentor Ryan?" She snapped back upset that she was caught.

"No but it's been awhile since he's missed two murders and we all know the zombie case would have been right up there in his top ten." Ryan answered as he tried to shrug off the hints of missing Castle.

"You keep track of Castle's top ten cases?" Kate asked as she tried to keep from sounding like she was upset

"Yeah Castle Jr.? Do you keep track of them?" Espo asked as much as he wanted to punch his partner for bringing up Castle when all knew how much Kate was really missing him.

Ryan stuttered, "No, no I don't but you know that it would have been a top ten?"

"Well add this to your top ten, get me the video, a name and find something that helps with this case."

"Yes, right on that." He sputtered out as Javi grabbed his jacket and pulled him down the alley way.

Kate shook her head as the two guys walked away, she felt Lanie come up to stand beside her, "I waited too long."

"I'm sorry girl. Maybe you need to call him and see what is really going on?"

"No, I made it through the last time he left my heart on the floor, I will this time too." Kate said as she made herself stand a little taller. "Call me when you have something. Kay?"

"I will."

Lanie watched as Kate walked back towards her cruiser. "I really hope there is a good reason for your absence Castle because I don't know if we will be able to ever crack her walls again if you don't."

Castles Loft, Same time

Rick sat nursing a glass of scotch as the sun came up to start a new day. It was how he ended the day before, in the same spot nursing a glass from the same bottle. All night he had been reviewing his life, the mistakes and pondering if the verdict was atonement to his erroneous ways.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

**_I would like to thank the guest reviewer shame we don't live closer as I would love to debate the issue more. So I understand what you were saying about Kate not being herself in this but please consider where I think they were at the end of Headhunters - he was back to being a playboy and she was confused by it because she had no idea he heard her confession, he didn't think she cared because the confession and the part of her being in counseling hadn't come up yet and the fight in Always doesn't happen here for them to clear the air and give ultimatums. _**

**_Lastly there are more than this post 47 story where writers have posted their opinion of what they think the characters felt and acted. _**

Castles Loft

Rick sat nursing a glass of scotch as the sun came up to start a new day. It was how he ended the day before, in the same spot nursing a glass from the same bottle. All night he had been reviewing his life, the mistakes and pondering if the verdict was atonement to his erroneous ways.

To say that the news he had been given had rocked the foundation of his world was an understatement….Cancer. Colon cancer,… possibly stage 1,… more than likely stage 2. Best to have surgery as soon as possible to remove the tumor before it can spread.

Surgery

Cancer

Chemotherapy

That one thing since the diagnosis that kept bouncing around his head as he wondered the age old question of why me?

Three weeks before _(day after Headhunters)_

He woke up and groaned as the area where Slaughter had punched him was sore as hell. Finally the morning call of nature had him shuffling to the bathroom holding his side. He couldn't remember when in his life when he had been punched like that and vowed to make sure that he never was again. Making it over and lifting the seat he felt relief as his bladder emptied only to come fully wide awake as the toilet filled with blood tinged urine.

Holy shit came across his mind as he finished and leaned to the wall for support.

Once he regained his composure he stood up, flushed and turned to the mirror and saw the huge bruise that was spread out over his abdomen. "Damn, double damn." He said as he brushed the area with his fingers. The lower left side was a solid bruise.

Quickly washing his hands he headed back to his bedside table with one arm held tight across his body trying to ease the pain from movement. Picking up his phone he scrolled quickly through his contacts to find his personal doctor and punched his number. "Hey Rick! What's up?"

"Hey Marcus, I need to see you like asap."

"Got a burn that won't go away again Rick?" Came the teasing voice over the phone.

Huffing, "Uh no. I got into a scrape yesterday and now I pissing blood. I also have a bruise like you wouldn't believe across my stomach."

"Damn Rick, what are you doing this time? Last time I looked you over your hand was nearly broken and then there was the time where you had that minor facial fracture from being punched…."

"I know, I know and that's why I am curbing down my research but back to the blood, can you fit me in?"

"Sure, meet me down at the Mayo CT scanner in an hour, I will work you in and see if there is any major damage done. Once we have that then we can go to my office and fix you up."

"Okay, thanks Marcus."

"No problem, you are one of my few patients that pay in cash." The doctor replied back trying to make a joke. "See you there."

Rick hung up and dressed quickly hoping to avoid his mother and daughter seeing him as the grimaced in pain. He had not wanted to press charges against Slaughter but if it was more than a simple bruise that would heal, then he would be in Gates's office with a copy of his medical report by noon.

If only he had had a clue what the rest of the day would bring.

Back to present

From the CT scan, a worried Marcus had sent him for an emergent MRI which had showed the same thing, there was a mass in his abdomen. Discussions in his office had Rick heading for a lower GI and biopsy; it was there that his fate was sealed. The biopsy had come back cancerous and that surgery and chemotherapy were needed.

He knew that after finding out Kate remembered his telling her that he loved her that he would end his following the beautiful detective. Because as much as he put on a show for his mother, his heart just couldn't handle it anymore. Flashing women and trying to be all macho and show her that he was missing his wild life had left a bad taste in his mouth. It wasn't him anymore, that Rick Castle was as gone as the Kate in his head that had feelings in return for him.

The whole ordeal of following Slaughter had been about showing Kate that he could follow someone else it was actually a test that had failed miserably. His running to her for help showed that he wasn't going to find a new place to play. He guessed that the only good from that experience was the sucker punch that had led him to his doctor.

Of course through his connections he had heard that he had missed a cool case where the suspect was dressed as a Zombie. Just his luck but with Alexis's graduation and the tests he didn't have time to be the love sick puppy following his unrequited love.

He sighed, slugged back the last shot of his glass and got up. His daughter was graduating tonight, next she was leaving for a trip to Europe with his mother; then with them gone he was having surgery to remove a part of his colon. Recover for a week and then start chemotherapy at a small clinic in the Hamptons. Research showed them to be top notch and discreet, both were required because he didn't want to have the loves of his life moping around while he was battling for his life. In three months when they got back he hoped he could put on a great show and send Alexis off to Oxford without much of a scene because of his health. The last thing he needed was her holding off on school because of him.

Martha's wrath would be enough when she discovered what he had hidden while she was gone gallivanting across Europe. The main issue by then would be either he was on the road to recovery with the final doses making sure he was in remission or she would find out that her only child was going to die.

Hearing noises coming from upstairs he recognized that he better cover up his depressed mood and become the laughable playboy everyone thought him to be. Making a batch of happy pancakes for all would keep the mood where it should be, happy and excited for Alexis and her big day.

As he was standing he noticed the text on his cell phone. It was from Beckett, a crime scene and did he want to come. It was over an hour old now and by now he was sure she knew he wasn't coming in.

He was going to miss the mystery in solving the cases with the team but he needed to focus on himself. He needed to heal his body and spirit together and a trip to the Hamptons would do that.

She was also the reason he was going into hiding. He didn't need her concern as a friend or whatever she really considered him. He also didn't want her around out of some sense of duty to help out. His dignity wouldn't take that.

Then there were the guys, he felt that they were truly friends but they were Beckett's partners and team first and he didn't need their pity as he came to face the fact that he had been their loyal dog for over 3 years. Plus who wants to have their bros see them puking up after chemo and slowly going bald.

Please do not throw stone at me, don't worry about Rick, I am a Casket Shipper. Next part to be out by Wed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**_Again thanks for the reviews, follows and likes. Hope the twist in the last chapter wasn't too shocking but I was looking for a new plot bunny and this one started running. Also I ask that we all respect the way we see these characters, debate is lovely and I do it with some of my Castle Buddies._**

**_I am also still looking for a beta reader as all mistakes are mine, anything seriously grievous, minus my plot and characterization, I would like to fix_**

Six days later

Surgical Waiting area

May 31st 2012

Castle was fidgeting as he waited to be taken back to the OR. He had home health ready when he was discharged and in two weeks he would be starting chemo in the Hamptons where he had hired a nurse to move in with him while his mother and daughter where gone. She was a retired emergency room nurse, a recent widow and looking for something to do and they had connected right off. Both understood the need for each other's privacy and they both needed space from recent losses. She also didn't care who he was and he liked that.

Prior to them leaving, he finally caved and told his mother that he was no longer following Beckett and was spending the summer writing at the beach house. She seemed more at ease with this and told him that as much as she hated it, she was glad that he wasn't tormenting himself anymore.

Her usual response of "oh Kiddo, I am so sorry." And a hug had made him feel somewhat better. Even if the he and his mother had had issues, there was no doubt in the love between mother and son. It made his secret from her difficult to keep but he knew he couldn't handle Martha until he was sure of the outcome.

He had asked her to not tell Alexis and that the two of them enjoy the plans he had made for them as they crossed Europe for the next 12 weeks. He had them going somewhere, doing something and on the move where they would have very little time worrying about him.

There was some last minute begging by the redheads to join them but he remained strong , kissed both of them good-bye and saw them through the security gates. It was only after the plane left with them on it did he sigh in relief and broke down in the car. The unknown of how he would be when they got back weighing heavily on him.

There had also been a few texts from the guys, Lanie and one from Kate. He had replied to all of them with that he had been bitten by a plotline and couldn't leave it. He had even emailed Captain Gates and told her that we wouldn't be there till at least fall, and she had kindly responded thanks for the heads up and have a great summer. To which he translated as thank goodness you won't be around to annoy me.

"Alex Rodgers?"

He looked up at the person who had entered his room, "That's me."

"I am Tracy your surgical nurse and we are ready to take you back, once there we will put in the epidural for pain when you are out of surgery and then get this tumor out of you."

"Sounds good, I am just ready to get this show on the road."

"Any family waiting for you? I see that your stuff is being held by security till you are in a private room?" Tracy asked?

"No. no family and that's right on my stuff and room." Giving her one of his famous smile, "I have friends coming later in the week once I am ready to go home."

"Okay then, lets go."

12th Precinct

Walking into the station Kate couldn't shake the feeling that she really needed to be somewhere else, that someone needed her. It had been a nagging feel since Castle decided to stop coming in. They were still getting the busy writing messages if any. Truth be told in the few weeks since he had stopped showing up the team had been hurting in silence. Each member blowing off the issue in their own usual fashion and the guys had finally stopped looking at his chair or mentioning him at scenes. She was sure that Espo had giving Ryan a good verbal thumping and together they figured that if she was going to be silent, then they would.

She wanted to go and challenge him, ask him why after nearly a year, when she was nearly ready, he was giving up. But the walls were still there and maybe he had decided that the woman inside them wasn't worth the wait anymore. The self doubt was suffocating her, it was why she never let anyone in and Castle had definitely gotten in. She missed him; she wanted him back but the scared in love woman deep inside couldn't win over the tough as nails detective who refused to think that she was at fault. Who refused to acknowledge that not everyone you care for leaves like her mother did.

Catching Gates looking at her as the captain entered her office was enough to help her shake off the missing Castle mood and attack the record in front of her with a new vengeance.

London, England

Lancaster Hotel

June 1st

Martha sat in the bar of the hotel after a long day of sightseeing and shopping with Alexis. Unconsciously stirring the mixed drink she ordered her thoughts were on her son. She knew that Kate breaking his heart would be one of the hardest things he would go through but her mother senses kept telling her there was something else going on. Richard was never good at hiding things, though he had gotten better in the last couple of years.

Even Alexis was sure her father was up to something and questioned Martha on the flight over. The young girl knew it dealt with the detective but didn't know what. Alexis really wanted to call Beckett and give her a piece of her mind on how she was hurting her father, even if she didn't know why but after a gentle conversation and some grandmotherly advice, Alexis was finally in agreement on letter her father sort out his own love life. She finally got the point across to the young girl by using the example of did she really want her father in her love life when some boy broke her heart?

No, she didn't know what was going on with her son and would grant him this summer of healing his heart, but she did pray that he wasn't drinking it away and ruining everything he had ever built.

Finishing her drink and ordering one to go, Martha decided that if they were going to stand in the rain and watch the Queens Jubilee on the river tomorrow she better get some rest.

**_The next part will be out in a couple of days, reviews welcome._**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**_Again thanks for the reviews, positive and negative. _**

**_To my guest reviewer, as I have said before, we all see the characters differently, read their behavior differently. I respect the views those that leave me their feelings on the story and if you keep reading this fiction then please respect my views. I enjoy feedback and take some of the suggestions and tone to heart as I go forward. Remember that this AU post Headhunters, the events in Undead and after never happened._**

**_Also if you read any major mistakes in grammar or spelling please let me know and I will fix._**

12th precinct

July 18th 2012

Kate fussed with the coffee machine that did nothing but remind her of the writer who had basically gone awol. There had been some minor action on his twitter account as he posted some odd thing that was 'Castle' but there weren't any of the usual Castle sightings that were always being posted. And his website was pretty much the same, a few blurbs from him about the new book coming out in August and that he was already working on the next Nikki Heat book.

She knew something was wrong because Castle was never this silent, ever. But where was he? The only posts he was making were of Alexis and Martha in Europe. These pictures and posts were to let the world know that they were having a great time.

She had gone by his Loft but the front doorman said that he hadn't seen Mr. Castle since May and all of his cars were accounted for. So she crossed out the Hamptons knowing he would have taken his own car, wouldn't he?

Ryan and Espo tried to deny it but they were pissed that Castle has just up and left without saying goodbye to them. Especially after Gates told them that Castle had sent an email saying he would be gone for the summer. The fact that all of them found out through her pissed them off but back to back to back cases had kept the jumping for weeks. Seven all told and that had left little time to ponder the writer who had abandoned them.

She knew that with one word the guys would search for Castle for her and help her find him. Just one word and she could be where he was and finding her answers. But now after weeks of nothing, she felt like her time was up and she wished she had had some guts back in May when her inner feelings were telling her something was wrong that she had acted. The issue now was her pride and fear kept her from doing that.

One of the first things that really hit her on how fast the summer was going was when she got her preview copy of the newest Nikki Heat book. The note that came with just said 'enjoy, Castle'. That was it. Another thing that was bothering her was there were no dates for a book premiere party, for which Castle was infamous for. So far the only thing out there was the date the book would be available to the public. Even the guys had asked if she knew anything, mainly because it was their chance to hobnob with the rich and famous pissed off or not at the author.

She had told her therapist about Castles odd behavior and how he had run off. How she had no idea why and that she had decided that whatever she had felt for him must have been infatuation. She knew it was a lie that she was trying to make herself believe, along with the fact that she had never seen Castle be so cruel to anyone. She could tell that Burke wasn't really buying into this theory by the way he questions her. The roughest one and the one she didn't have an answer for was what triggered the change?

It was also really starting to piss her off. How his behavior wasn't what she deserved after she had asked for time back in the fall when she returned after her shooting. Was he punishing her like she did to him last year? Whatever had happened started right after the bombing but for the life of her should didn't know what. It was Burkes bringing up the fact that Castle had declared his love for her when she had been shot that the inkling started creeping in that somehow he knew she remembered.

Lanie was the only one to let the issue of Castle lay low unless she brought it up. Which she found odd but also it was like Lanie knew Kate was having issues dealing with the one man she had finally decided on.

Finally after pushing a few more buttons she got her cup of coffee and headed back to her desk with the mantra that she had been repeating since he left. She was over Richard Castle. He had now left her again, broke her heart just like he did when he left with Gina and that was never going to happen again.

Her travel was stopped as Ryan came waving a post it saying they had a fresh one. It was like someone knew she needed her head on something else.

Same time the Morgue offices

Lanie reviewed the text from her aunt Irene that let her know that her patient was having a bad session and she would call her later; she texted back to let her know if he needed anything that she was here.

Lanie mused that her Aunt would definitely be calling later, he was always a bear by day two of his therapy and if he was already sick then it was a bad session.

She mused over how it had been by accident that she had found out where Castle was and why. Her aunt had told her that she was taking care of some rich guy with cancer and he had said he was okay with her inviting family up to his Hampton home for the 4th of July weekend. Basically because Alex knew his company would suck and he didn't want her to spend it alone. So Irene had invited her favorite niece to come up for a few days and enjoy some time off.

Lanie jumped at the chance since Javi had been acting like an ass and Kate was so withdrawn behind her walls that she needed a weekend to tell all to Aunty Irene and clear her head. What she wasn't prepared for was the very ill form of Richard Castle.

_**I will post again in a few days and yes we will see Castle then**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**_Just a quick note, this will go backwards in time to where Lanie learns about Castle. Also I am not going to go in depth over his treatment. There are several different treatments, responses and reactions to treatments and I am just brushing over his. Also there is a foot note explaining how he possibly got the cancer._**

**_Again thanks for the reviews and grammar suggestions. This is longer as requested. I feel bad that some parts seem short but it is sometimes difficult as an author to decide how to chop up a story. _**

**_Lastly, as always the mistakes are mine, thanks to the one that suggested a change in the last chapte. I have had an offer for a beta reader, I need to respond to them and then send the next few chapters._**

June 29th 2012

The Hamptons

Lanie pulled up to the huge Hampton beach home and whistled; her aunt had latched onto someone with money. It wasn't that Irene needed it between her retirement and what Uncle Terry's will left her but her aunt didn't know how to just relax. The woman loved being a nurse. It was what had drawn her into the medical field initially but their paths differed when Lanie fell in love with forensics.

"Elaine my dear girl, I'm so happy to see that you made it," Came from the front porch as Lanie got out of her car.

"Aunt Irene, it's so good to see you." She answered back as the two met at the bottom of the stairs for a hug. "And my, my you are sure living high and mighty here."

"Oh honey, Alex may have money but he is a sweetheart, a grouchy bear of a sweetheart sometimes. My heart just breaks for him with what he has been through these past four weeks. But he's a fighter." Letting her niece go, "So grab you bag and I will show you to your room and then you can help me fix some soup for dinner. I don't think the poor fella will hold it down but he likes to try."

Lanie opened the hatchback of her car and then followed her aunt in. After a brief twenty minute tour the two set up shop in the kitchen making some fresh chicken noodle soup and catching up with each other.

Lanie knew that Irene missed Uncle Terry a lot but it seems that this job was helping her fill in the time and allowing her to heal. And from what she got from Irene the poor man was nursing a broken heart himself, and getting that much out of him had been like pulling nails. She felt sorry for the man but respected his privacy and pain. It was what made her Aunt a great nurse, the ability to make her patients feel secure and tell her what they wanted and gave them space when they needed it too. Of course it didn't take away the want to know why the poor guy was up here alone.

While sitting drinking tea as the soup boiled, Lanie discovered that she knew more than her aunt did when Alex joined them in the kitchen.

"My dear Irene, I hope that tastes as good as it smells, and you know with how bad things taste and smell to me right now that is a lot."

Lanie sat up straight as she recognized the voice behind her; she slowly turned and was truly shocked at the disheveled form of Richard Castle leaning against the door frame.

Even his posture straightened up when he recognized her and looked to Irene for some explanation.

Irene missed the instant tension between the two, "Oh good Alex, good you're up. I was hoping to introduce my niece to you prior to dinner; she made it up here about an hour or so ago." Walking over to reach down and take Rick's wrist to check his pulse and do a skin check on his temperature, Irene kept talking, "Elaine dear, this here is Alex Rodgers and Alex this is my niece Elaine Parish."

Lanie stood up and came over to them, "Aunt Irene, Alex and I actually know each other." She said as she gave Castle as look that said we will talk later.

"Really! I didn't know that and you never mentioned him before."

Rick jumped in, "She helped me on some case stuff for one of my projects."

Irene looked between the two of them with a keener eye and saw that they needed to speak but she also could see her patient's energy level waning with the effort to stay standing up. "Elaine dear, why don't you escort Alex to the back porch and let him enjoy some evening sun. I know that he needs it and Alex I don't want to hear a whine out of you about it. Dinner should be ready shortly and once it is we can eat out there."

Seeing that he had little choice, "Whatever you say Irene."

Lanie was surprised that Rick folded so easy, it spoke to two things, her aunt had him well trained and he was that sick. "Come on, lean on me and let's check out that back view."

Lanie could barely get over how sick Castle really was; he was down at least 20 to 30 pounds, weak and narrowly moving under his own steam. His normally well fixed hair was thinned and messy. By the time they reached the back porch she was basically holding him up. After she got him into a chair he waved at her to sit down.

She could see the sweat across his brow and his robe had come open enough for her to see the central line in his chest.

"How are you Lanie? You look tired."

She snorted at him, "Really Castle! Compared to you I seem to be awesome. What the hell, you couldn't call and tell one of us what was really going on? Instead you lie and say you are writing this summer?"

He half laughed, "Sure Lanie, let me call up everyone I know and say I have cancer. I was barely dealing with things myself and I sure as hell didn't need a pity party."

"What about Kate?"

"What about her? She pretty much let me know she doesn't care." The sting of hearing her confession to a pick pocket still hurting.

"Like she doesn't really care? You left a devastated woman back there in New York while you suffer alone here in your own pity party." Lanie shot back in awe of the stupidity of her two friends.

"I doubt it Lanie, when a man tells you he loves you and you tell him you don't remember, ask him to leave and you don't speak for three months tells the man a lot. Then you toy with him because you know he is like a little lost puppy and will follow you anywhere. And then you just continue to play with him and when he finally hears the truth that you remember him declaring his love for you but it's not him that hears it. You tell some petty thief that you never forget what happens in extreme moments, that she remembers everything that happened when she was shot. Kate Beckett is hardcore woman at heart and even if all she felt for me was that of friendship, she could have told me."

Lanie is shocked by the venom in his voice and then sees that this declaration of anger is from hurt and the explosion of expression took everything from him. She could also see he needed to vocalize it. "Rick it wasn't like that, she…."

When he caught his second wind, "Lanie, there are others that have commented that I am like some loyal cocker spaniel to her," he said as he was reminded of the conversation between Shaw and Kate," so after hearing her say she remember, I took a step back and looked at the way she leads me around. The plucky sidekick, the puppy that just follows her without thought. Therefore, for my own self respect is why I left the way I did. It might not have been best idea at the time but it was on my terms."

"So Castle, you just up and decided to pull a Beckett this summer and hide?"

"It's not the same Lanie, I am up here fighting for my life and the fact that I might still be dying is possible." He paused to look out over the yard, "Lanie, Kate survived the death part at the beginning and shut everyone out during the healing part. I never promised to call and didn't. I let everyone know it would be the end of summer when I would be back." The shrug that said hopefully, "Kate, well she only cares about Kate Beckett and her mother's case."

Seeing that the emotional strain was getting to him, she decided that it was not the time to continue this road of conversation, "So when did you find out you were sick? And what the hell is wrong with you?"

Castle smiled at her sensing her change in topic and went into details about how Slaughter had punched him, leading him to his doctor and then the week of medical exams that lead to his diagnosis of colon cancer. Seems he had had Celiac Sprue for some time and unfortunately for him it was what caused the cancer. They think that he should recover but just in case an aggressive form of chemo was suggested and he was just at the start of it.

"And you haven't told your family that you are fighting this? Really?" was said with the renowned Lanie glare, "Because they are going to chew you out for not telling them and letting them help you."

Rick let his head hang back, eyes closed as he thought of his mother and daughter, "I know Lanie, I know but I wanted my daughter to enjoy being a kid a bit longer and I am hoping that as mad as they might be at my not telling them that I will be on the other side and feeling better." And hearing Irene coming, he changed the subject again, "And dinner is here."

Lanie stood up and helped her Aunt serve the hot bowls of soup. She glanced at Rick and exchanged a look saying that the topic of Kate wasn't over, leaving both knowing that there was much conversation to be had over the weekend. He gave a little nod, receiving a smile in return.

The elder woman caught their looks and hoped that maybe just maybe having her niece here would help heal some of the soul of the man she was taking care of. "I tell you my dear girl that learning to cook gluten free has been a challenge but I kind of like it. I have also felt better."

The trio sat enjoying the evening breeze off the ocean, trading a few stories about Lanie causing her to bust out on Castle. Rick knew that Irene knew who he was and she had been great respecting his wishes of being anonymous. By the time they headed in for bed, Rick felt more relaxed than he had since the whole ordeal started.

Back to the present

morgue

The week with her aunt and Castle had been a great experience. When he felt good they had played board games, cooked on the grill, watched fireworks and talked anything and everything. She also felt really good at finally getting to see and know the real Richard Castle. She felt bad afterwards when she was leaving that she hadn't really sat down with him before as she thought of him as Kate's man.

She also felt better knowing that Rick was in good hands with her Aunt and she also knew by the end of the visit that Kate Beckett was a fool. This goodhearted man was in love with Kate and was just as scared as Kate about rejection, and sadly her confession overheard by Rick was taken as such; rejection. So after trying to give Kate's side to things and stay true to Kate as a friend by not saying too much; he promised to think over what little Lanie did say on Kate's behalf and why Kate denied hearing him last year.

It had taken work, but she had at least gotten him to finally confess too he was wrong with just disappearing on the team back in May. She understood his reasoning in that Kate needed the guys backing her and not him. The thought of putting any of the three detectives in danger made him sick. He even mentioned that hind sight is 20/20 and the stunts he pulled when he began following he wouldn't even consider today.

Rick texted her every now and then, they played Scrabble online and sent him updates of cases that were going on. It was funny on how she made subtle suggestions to Beckett, Ryan and Esposito and none of them knew it was from Castle. Of course she edited the writer boy's farfetched ideas into simple ones

As Purlmutter came in with a new case for them , she set her thoughts aside and jumped back into the body on her table.

**_For those that don't have Celiac Sprue, it is when you have a gluten – wheat, barley, rye and oats – allergy. If caught you must adhere to the diet because it can cause colon cancer. I found out I had it when my son was 3. They removed 6 pre-cancerous polyps from my intestines after the Colonoscopy proved what my blood work showed. _**

**_I told my story to a person I met via my job and she said that her mother-in-law had Celiac Sprue, I explained the cancer scare and that I didn't want to leave my son motherless/parentless as I am a proud single mom, it was then that she told me that husband had recently died from colon cancer. I have no idea if it was coincidence or he had Celiac Sprue but it was enough to scare her in having her children tested. He was 45. _**

**_The disease is a genetic auto-immune disorder and can be passed down thru family. A person can have signs and symptoms and then again they may not. That say that 1 out of every 125 people can have it and not know it. I am not suggesting that you run to your doctors tomorrow but if you have a history of Irritable Bowel Syndrome and haven't been tested; I would. For over 25 years they just said I had a nervous stomach, that diagnosis could have killed me._**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Sorry that real life has kept me from posting quicker and thanks to my beta reader and her help. I hope things flow better._

_As for the feedback, thanks and I know that some will say that he or she wouldn't have __acted like this or that. Again we all perceive these characters differently as every writer on this site has them doing things we would never think of them doing._

_Lastly - Lanie, I think that she would keep quiet for Castle after really getting to know him. _

July 31st, 2012

The Hamptons

Rick gazed out over the yard to the beach beyond, watching the tide roll in and out. The calm before the storm, so to speak, as the sounds of tires pulling up out front became evident. Paula had finally won the war of his isolationism with threats: The worst being that she would show up with fans, cameras, and caterers for a book premiere on his back lawn that coming weekend, unless he allowed her to come and plan the one Black Pawn was holding him to on the 22nd of August—just two days after the redheads returned, giving him at least a day to get through them and hopefully have enough time to put a few pounds back on so that Page 6 readers would not see how ill he had been.

Reports showed that he was doing well. At least the surgical scars had healed; with any luck, his chemo would end in four weeks. If the biopsies scheduled for the 6th came back clear, then his cancer would be considered controlled; he would only need to go for a monthly review for six months, and then annually.

Those terms had seemed so far away back in June when he was so sick.

"So Ricky, what the hell is going on that you decide to be a recluse for the summer? Nikki finally break ya heart?

He turned to see Paula standing behind him in all of her fired-up glory at him till she saw his gaunt figure and ashen face, and then said, "Oh Gawd Rick, what the hell is going on?"

Grimacing from the truthful but over-exclamation of how he looked, he replied, "Afternoon, Paula, how have you been?"

"How have I been? Damn it Ricky, what are you holding back on? I shoulda known in case there had been damage control to do."

"Damage control? It's my life, Paula, and don't you or anyone else forget that. If I want to hide away from the world, then it's my decision—not yours, Black Pawn's, or my fans. I have cancer and I wanted to be able to get treatment and heal just like everyone else on the planet, without the press wondering if I was going to die the next day."

Irene snickered as she brought lunch out for it wasn't part of her job description to cook full-time for him, she didn't mind it; she enjoyed working for him. He needed the type of mothering she could give, and making his lunch was nothing to her.

She looked over at him as she set the tray down and listed, "Grilled bacon and cheese sandwiches, chips, and some tea."

Rick walked over and pulled out chairs for both women before pulling one out for a deep breath, he said, "Come on and sit, Paula, and I will fill you know two things: I want the press kept out of my personal business till I am ready, and Black Pawn is also to be kept in the dark for as long as possible. Any misuse of my health problems for book sales, and I will be looking for a new business manager and publisher."

Paula sat down and just nodded.

August 9th

Lanie's Apartment

If you asked her how she felt about reality shows, she would huff and say,"Whatever," but secretly she was a fan of Big Brother, Survivor, and the Amazing Race. To her delight, she found out that Rick was a fan also—and humorously, the nerd in him made him a spoiler hound. Lanie preferred to see the plots and such when the episodes aired,which meant Rick learned quickly that he would receive some profoundly scathing, obscene texts back from her if he sent spoilers. In essence, he had found a fun way to aggravate her.

Luckily for her, she found time on a Wednesday night to catch up on the episodes she had missed. A jingle from her phone her brought back to the present with a text alert. Expecting her turn in her and Rick's war of words, she was surprised by the message: **_Can you possibly come up this weekend? Please!_**

Quickly,she texted back**_,You okay?_**

**_Not really,_**popped back up cryptically from him**_._**

**_What's wrong?_**Lanie asked in return, wondering what in the hell was making him ask, and what he was hiding from her aunt—or what her aunt was hiding from her.

**_Just need a friend._**

And that text broke her heart. She had ascertained during her stay by his stories that Rick had a lot of friends, but when it came down to the heart of the matter, there were very few who truly knew the man deep down under the persona, besides his family, herself, and Kate. Right now, those three were out of the question between the mistrust and anger, and his hiding.

She hated keeping secrets from Kate about all of the issues going on with Rick, but she knew things about Kate that she hadn't told Rick. In her heart, she knew that one wrong word to Kate—well, really, any words to anyone—and she would be breaking the trust of a true friend. Not to say it wasn't killing her, watching the team struggle with the silence. In fact, she knew that Castle was impressed that she was staying quiet for him.

**_Gonna cost you, writer boy_**… she texted back.

**_It is writer man. No problem; you and Irene can head into the town and do some damage on one of my accounts._**

She smiled and headed over to the computer to put in a request for the following Monday off.

**_K, put in for Monday off so it's a 3-day weekend._**

A final alert from Castle pinged**_.Thanks_**.

She smiled as she sent the request, knowing it would be approved after the summer from hell. Seemed that everyone was testy, and her boss was willing to give his people some time off. Of course,barely having time to see anyone because of the crazy workload helped with keeping secrets.

She also put in for the night of the book premiere. Good, bad or ugly, Rick had finally convinced her to go as his date. He needed someone vibrant and who knew his limits.

This came after a long phone call where he went over the details of his afternoon with Paula and how they discussed who to invite and how much about him he was willing to deal with publically. Rick and Lanie had both talked about how the detectives were going to take them coming together, and he had left it in her court to decide how to break it to Kate and the boys the way the two of them had kept in touch.

A knock at the door brought her out of the dilemma she still didn't know how to handle. Before she could even cross the room to answer, the barest whisper of a voice came from the other side of the door, "Lainie? It's Kate. I need to talk."

Opening the door and witnessing a distressed Kate broke her thought that she could alleviate some of Kate's pain gnawed at her, but there was no way she would break Castle's trust.

Giving Kate the space to enter and showing her to the couch, Lanie asked, "Kate girl? What brings you over here this time of night?"

Finally turning to Lanie with tears in her eyes, Kate murmured, "Lainie….."

Knowing what events sent the strong detective into a tailspin, Lanie surmised, "You got your invite to the book party?"

Kate spied Lanie's invitation on the coffee table and answered, "I guess he sent one to us all. Kevin was quiet today and Javi was off."

"Oh sweetie, I got mine today too." She was definitely not saying she had known about the night since two weeks ago. Deciding to test the waters, she questioned Kate, "Are you going?"

Kate fell back against the sofa and covered her face, mumbling, "God Lainie, I don't know. I want so bad to see him, make him explain why he left the way he did—and then I want so bad to just grill him and let him have it. Then, there is the part of me I have been working on for months that just wants to get back behind my wall and never see him again."

Lanie grabbed a couple of wine glasses and a bottle from her rack and headed over to join Kate. The movements gave her time to think through what she needed to say and what she needed to keep hidden—she knew Rick's side of the story and the pain he was feeling over Kate's lack of honesty,but the flip side was that Castle's cowardice and lack of truthfulness were causing her good friend some heartache too.

She mulled all the way through her thoughts one last time while pouring the wine before finally speaking, "Do you love him? And don't say you don't, because I will call you a liar."

Kate nearly doubled over as if in pain when she spoke, "More than I ever thought I would for someone. I feel as if a part of me has been missing all summer and I want that part back. I need it back. I need him back."

"Then let the man him, text him. Hell, call him! Why are you sitting here on my couch crying to me? Let him know, Kate. Even if he doesn't feel the same, at least you'd let the man know."

"What scares me, Lainie, is what do I do if he doesn't? I swear, prior to the bombing case, he was all but telling me how he felt. That he loved me." Or at least,had been in love with her. "Then the bombing happened, and suddenly he changed; became distant. After that, he followed Slaughter—and I will never understand why he felt he had to follow someone else—and then he was gone. With just a simple, 'I need to write in that damn email to Gates.'"

"Kate, that man has cared about you for a long time. I even told you back in April that you needed to make a claim," Lanie said, remembering the night when Castle and his girl-of-the-day had shown up in his Ferrari—and it seemed that Kate did, too.

"Yeah, and he showed up with a flight attendant."

"Because he gave up, sweetie, same as with was giving up because you were not being honest." It was especially important to highlight that now, Lanie told herself, that she knew he had told Kate that he loved her—albeit with the worst timing—and the detective had then lied to him. Changing tactics, Lanie added, "I remember when he first started shadowing was an ass, but as time went on, he stopped."

Kate looked over to Lanie, retorting, "And then returned to being an ass this year. It's what makes me feel like maybe I did make the right decision. Was he just trying to get me into his bed by being a good boy and, once he decided he was tired of trying,he just reverted back to Rick Castle, Bachelor Number Six,swinger and immature asshole?"

"I thought he was number nine?" Lanie said, trying to bring humor in to lighten things up but instead receiving an icy glare. "Anyway, Kate, everyone saw the same thing you did—Rick Castle, not the persona but the real man. It took him nearly four years to break down your walls, and that wasn't easy. And he stayed and kept coming back to prove his loyalty; to you, girl. The man had plenty of reasons to leave over that , he remained true to you and the guys."

Kate sat back and looked at her friend. "Since when did you become a Castle groupie? Lead Cheerleader Lanie trying to rub in that I messed up?"

Sensing that she needed to retreat somewhat, Lanie protested, "No, Kate, I am saying that you need to get off your ass and either make a move and settle it once and for all, or start moving on. You know my vote is that you call Castle, meet with him,and get everything out in the open—especially how you feel—and find out how he feels. For whatever the reason was he felt that he needed to run and hide, this summer has given you a feel of what your life will be like if he's gone for you don't step up to the plate and take your chance, it could be gone for good. Then, you will never know if he loves you back or not."

Kate's response was to lean her head on the back of the couch and go over what Lanie was telling her. A few tears slowly made their way down her face.

Lanie just watched and wished she could do something more. Her loyalty to both kept her from dragging Kate up to the Hamptons at that very moment and locking them up in Castle's office there. She also remembered her aunt's advice; slow and steady wins the race. She feared, though, that if they didn't meet up prior to the book release party, then they would never get past things.

**_Things should get moving on towards the reunion and towards the Caskett we all really want. I hope to have another part out by Monday. But with the exciting new episode coming up….who will be on FF?_**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter7

_Again thanks to my beta and her suggestions. She helps remind me of what I don't see in my own story. I appreciate the suggestions and edits. _

_Thanks to all of the followers and reviews. I do appreciate them and take them to heart._

_Will work on getting the next part out soon, but I am headed to the Dallas Comic Con Thursday and will get to see Nathan on stage by himself and with the Firefly cast. _

_Loved Veritas and I am hoping we get the Wedding they deserve…And thanks to ABC for the 2 minute montage of Always._

_Lastly, Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms reading this_

August 13th, 2012

Early Morning at Kate's Apartment

She sat staring at her mother's murder board, a cup of coffee in hand as she went over her own talks to Lanie on Thursday and Dr. Burke on Friday. Both had said the same:Call him and clear the air once and for all. Well, Burke hadn't said that exactly—but in his usual pissing-her-off tone of voice, had let her know that the only way to finish her healing was to talk to him.

So here she sat, alone, dealing with the easier demon to fight. Her mother should have been here to help her though all of the emotional mess and instead being the victim of a crime.

Kate knew she was avoiding the real issue in front of her. Castle and what he meant to her, and if he no longer felt the same, it would kill her as much as her mother's death had. It had taken months of therapy to finally get over the wake of her mother's death so she could possibly let go and love someone again,but as Lanie had mentioned, she waited too late.

Why oh why didn't she learn from two years ago when he had hounded her to go to the Hamptons with him, and she had put him off till he had found someone else to take? And now, what if he was with someone new—someone who wasn't as much of an emotional wreck as she was and was able to be free with how they feel? She had so wanted to be that girl who was in it all the way with someone, like she had told Castle back during the first bomb-threat case that they had ever worked together as partners, when they were waiting to see how much radiation they had been exposed to after having opened a questionable storage room.

Huffing at herself, she finished her coffee and set the cup in the sink. Then, heading to grab her purse and weapon, she let the walls protecting her heart—and not silent cries of her heart begging to reach out to Rick—rule again.

August 15th, 2012

In the Afternoon at the Loft

Rick wandered around the loft, feeling very little like the man that had walked out back in May. He was ever so happy that Irene had reminded him to have a cleaning crew straighten up the place so that his mother and daughter would come home to a dust-bunny-free abode. He was also glad that Lanie and Irene had dragged him, kicking and screaming, along with them shopping for clothes. Dropping over thirty-five pounds in three months was telling unless hidden correctly, and the women knew how to help hide the fact that he was recovering from cancer. Then, they had found a great hairdresserwho had given him some tips on disguising the hair loss. Both women had taken great amusement in seeing him fluffed and pampered.

Irene was also staying on to help with the transition from IV chemo to tablets, and also to give him some help and cooking tips on gluten-free cuisine. Knowing it was either the new diet for life or another bout with death made eating his usual staples unappealing. So, with Irene and Lanie's help,he had attacked his cabinets and packed up all foods, seasonings, mixes, and condiments with wheat, barley, rye, and oats in them. If they were unopened, then they went to a food bank; opened items were just trashed or taken by Lanie, who said she would just place them in the fridge at work for anyone to use.

Next had been the un-boxing of all-new skillets, plates, and other kitchenware that were replacing anything where leaching could have occurred. The old dishes, though,had all been boxed up, labeled and made ready for donation to a local food bank. With all he had just gone through, he would have to buy Alexis all-new cookware for college. Lanie agreed that Little Castle would have to go as overboard as Big Castle in making sure that no cross-contamination would lead her father back to the cancer center.

Lanie eventually decided, after eating many gluten-free meals with Castle, that for her friend she, too, would try the lifestyle. Of course, her Aunt saying she had never looked better and dropping several pounds had aided in the decision. All agreed it was a great way to watch the pounds, though never eating fast food again kind of sucked.

Lanie had convinced him to ride back with her as it would give her a chance to feel out his feelings for a certain detective again. Admitting he still loved her was hard,but finally concluding sometime over the summer he that those feelings would never change had brought him some peace. He also felt more at peace that he was looking at Kate more as an adult than as a school boy with a crush. He had told Lanie that maybe after the book premiere, he would try to talk to the team and at least make amends for his abrupt departure.

As for where Kate and he would end up that would primarily depend on Kate. He was over letting her take the lead, but he wasn't going to force the issue either. If Kate wanted him and wanted to see if they could actually carry on with an adult relationship, then she needed to come to him for that; but he was willing to grovel to repair their friendship. No matter what the future held, he still wanted that friendship if they could manage it.

Unbeknownst to him, Lanie was bursting to say that Kate was all a blubbering mess over him and that if he just would be brave, the two of them would have everything they wanted. But, as she had done all summer, she remained quiet and worked at him from a different angle.

Lanie had then tried to convince him to reach out to Ryan and Esposito prior to the gala. After a half-hearted fight, he had surrendered and told her he would start with Kevin. Javi was too hot-headed, and he wasn't ready to deal with Kate yet. He had called Kevin and left a message asking the detective over, as he wasn't ready to be caught out and about by the press, but didn't know if Kevin would answer him back.

He had also concluded that he now truly understood why Kate had left the summer before. Death and emotions needed solace to recuperate;isolation was needed in order to learn how to handle the life you were meant to live with afterward. It was ironic, too, that the same words which had driven her from him in the first place had now driven him away.

Finally,he and Lanie had discussed his mother and daughter. Somehow, Meredith had weaseled her way into one of the stops in Europe, and instead of dealing with her son's ex-wife, Martha had kindly let the vampire take her place and bought herself a ticket home—which was why he was home a week earlier than planned and was now expecting her any minute, along with the discussion of how he had kept this major secret from her all summer.

Lanie and Irene were very good at listening to him, giving him advice whether he wanted it or not, and coaching him on how to break the news to others by role-playing Martha. The worst part, they all knew, was that Day Two Post-Treatment was usually his worst day because that was when the chemotherapy's side-effects really started showing—and that was today. Rick was not looking forward to being at his lowest with his mother around, even if his inner child wanted nothing more than his mom to mother him and take care of him.

The opening of the door followed by, "Hello Darling," brought him out of his thoughts as Martha came flowing in with her luggage. Martha stopped short when she saw him; her smile changed to a scowl as it hit her that her son had lied to her about how he had spent the summer.

Being the good son, he jumped up to help drag in the two bags left in the hall, but was stopped short when she grabbed his arm and barked, "Richard Alexander Rodgers, you tell me what is going on with you, and you tell me right now."

"Hello Mother, did you have a good trip?" he asked, trying to redirect the conversation.

"Richard?" came out of his mother's mouth with the sounding of his name being dragged out, "tell me: Did you spend it drunk and hanging out with women? Because by the way you look, I would say you spent it in a bottle."

"Let me get your things, and then we will sit and I will tell you," he said as he patted her hand on her arm.

Giving him a glare, she silently walked into the living room and sat down.

He pulled the remaining luggage in, shut the door, and gave his thoughts a brief second to recoup. He knew she would catch on that something was up, but not in the first five seconds. Taking a deep breath, he walked over and sat beside her.

"I am going to tell you everything, I promise, but I'll stick to the basics for now, and when you have had a chance to calm down some and review what I have said, I will tell you everything."

"Oh God, you're dying?" uttered Martha, seeing the changes clearer as she looked him over thoroughly; she had expected him to say that he had spent the summer in a drunken stupor, but the evidence was pointing to the fact that he was sick.

"Not yet, if I can help it, but we will find out for sure in a few weeks." Pausing for a moment and taking her hand, Rick asked, "You remember back in May on that stupid case with Slaughter—you remember him?"

Martha nodded. "Not one of your finer moments, if I recall," she said, remembering her advice to him when he was following the buffoon.

"No, Mother, it wasn't, but the outcome of that saved my life; I have—well, hopefully, had—colon cancer."

"What?" Martha said in shock.

"I was diagnosed with a tumor; had it surgically removed, and I have been undergoing chemotherapy since mid-June. They think they got it all, and I have been doing okay on chemo—so good, in fact, they are switching me from IV to pill in a few weeks."

Martha stared at her son as she processed the word'cancer'. Finally gathering her wits, she lit into him, "So you felt it was in everyone's best interest to send your family away while you fought for your life alone? Really, Richard? Where was your head? I would never have left if I had known."

"Mother, stop. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to see me go through what I did, and the last thing I wanted was for Alexis to spend her last summer as a kid watching her father fight for his life. And I needed you to take Alexis away. I know you would have been by my side every day, but I needed the time alone to heal."

"And are you?"

"I have an appointment in a few weeks to see if the tumor has come back, but so far my labs and tests look good. If all goes well, I will start appointments every few months, and slowly they will extend to semi-annualand then annual visits to make sure I stay cancer free." He ended giving her his best smile. "I know you are worried, but if I wasn't getting any better by now, do you really think that I would make a public appearance for the new book?"

He felt like he was six again as Martha just gaped at him, processing everything she was could see the fear and anger both behind her eyes. There was also the love of a mother for her son. "Oh, Richard, I wish you would have told me. I was miserable most of the time, worrying about you and you getting over Beckett." She turned away, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall;after taking a minute to gather herself, she turned back to face him. "I want one thing clear,mister—I am not over being mad at you for hiding this from me, but until you are given the all-clear from your doctors, I will let it lie to be by your side."

"Come here, Mom," he said, opening his arms for her and feeling the embrace and love only a mother could give. "Just to let you know, I wasn't alone; I hired a full-time nurse to take care of me."

Martha pulled back and looked at him, snorting, "Some hot young blond?" just as Irene came in and nearly tripped over the bags.

"I swear, young man, you are trying to kill me," came the annoyed voice of the older nurse whose gaze found mother and son sitting together on the couch. "Oh, you must be Martha; I am Irene Taylor, the nurse that took care of your son this summer."

Martha looked from Rick to Irene as she stood up. She was blindsided again by her son in the fact that he had finally grown up and made some good decisions, even if she didn't agree with her being left in the dark over the summer. But then again, the shock hadn't worn off, and she knew the anger was more than likely going to erupt again when his daughter came home. Standing to greet the woman, she said, "Yes, I am; nice to meet you too. I feel bad that you seem to know more than me at the moment."

"Don't worry; it gives you something to hang over his head for a while," Irene said with a true smile as the women turned to Rick.

"Great, all I need is more women teaming up on me," he said with a sigh as the first twinges of feeling ill hit him and he doubled over.

Irene moved over to him and kneeled down, asking, "You feel it coming on?"

Trying not to move much, he answered, "Yeah. I think that I am going to go and take my meds and get comfortable."

Martha worriedly looked between them and could see the strength draining from her son. Watching the nurse help her son up and escort him to his room, she blindly followed and was shocked when he took off on his own to be sick.

Irene turned to face Martha, telling her, "This is normal. He has gotten sick about this time every week he has had treatments. Once he is through being ill, I can give him some meds through his port and then he will sleep. That will give us time to get acquainted properly, and I can answer most of your questions—the ones he won't really tell."

"And our new diet restrictions. And please don't tell her all of my secrets, Irene. I need a few," Rick told his nurse as he came back out of the en-suite and headed into the closet to change clothes.

Martha looked in confusion at the two of them and then figured she was in for a day of surprises. "New diet?"

Catching the wall to hold himself up and regain his balance, Rick said, "I will let Irene explain, but it is the reason for all of this, and you and Alexis will need to be tested soon to make sure you don't have it either. And now—if you will excuse me so I can change."

Irene grabbed Martha's arm and urged, "Come on, Martha, let's let the poor boy change, and once settled, I will knock him out."

Martha looked at Irene for a minute and then patted her hand. "Just give me one moment." She then walked over to Richard and gave him another big hug, clutching him tightly. "I love you, damn it. I am supposed to go first, not you." She stopped before she could start crying again and, with her fist thumping his chest, let him go to waltz Martha-style out of the room and leave a speechless man standing there.

It might not have gone well, but at least he had her done and his daughter next.

_Just a few things that might need explanation…. Rick is now eating completely gluten free items – bread, pasta, snacks and so forth. The main reason so to keep the intestinal irritation down that can cause abnormalities that can lead to cancer. At my last appointment my blood work had my level at 2. 0 to 4 is normal and my doctor fussed at me because it was above zero. That is how strict we have to be to be well._

_If you want to see how hard it is to eat that way, go to your kitchen and look at every package of seasonings, boxes of mixes and soups….wheat is everywhere as a filler._

_Leaching is hard to explain but it is when a substance, gluten, iron, excreta embeds itself into something. Skillets, pots, pans, dishes, grease from deep fryers and so on can hold onto. Another example is when an odor gets into something and you just can't get it out._


End file.
